Currently Listening Karma and Effect By Seether Fine Again see related

t.w.o

And, I can do this. I am strong enough to beat that which would suspend me in mid-air. It's wicked - the glorious malcontent that drove me to these heights. What a transperant moment in time can actually be, when you speak out of turn and forget yourself for that undeniable second.

I am in love with myself. Normal and confused, twisted and infused with greed and pride. I am no better then the next yet, so much more worthy then the one before. Someones distance is my own sanctuary, and my dreams; their jail. Condemned to that prison by the hands that craddled them.

I don't miss him when I am gone. The tears that burn hot lava, searing my flesh are not branded by his hand. Not anymore. I snicker and sneer, and laugh at the influx of power that has allowed me to disarm him at my will. Love me some more, while I hate you - climbing this broken vine of wonder and trust. Fall into the pit of melancholy, oh - I forgot to jump.

dyalone.

I just read G-Bena's entry. So, she returns. Maybe it'll be better this time, lovey. I hope so. I love you, sweets.

I miss my own sister. I miss her, love her, miss her, love her. And my mom too. How childish, to miss your mommy. I do, she's the best. Sadly, I never appreciated how amazing she is until just recently.

The best.

The best mom

best friend

best.

Thanks mom, for being the best.

For being you.

What a tragedy.

Only 23, and what a tragedy. Driving while intoxicated. That is the long version, you may know it as DWI.

How sad, how utterly sad that before a life can begin down the path of light, one mistake sends that life toward the shadowed course. Now it will be so much harder, the fights will be longer and the resentment will double. I tried to be a good wife, I tried to make you happy. I tried to fit into your mold, but I can't. How do you feel? Stupid? You should.

Wave good-bye to your dreams and pray tomorrow is a better today, because the canvas of broken promises paints a trail of vibrant crimson in your wake. Destruction, what a pity. Take yours, I have mine. Locked away, in my fragile glass heart. You can't have what warms me, no one can.

Be better.

Not for me, obviously never for me. Me, just another tool.

Be better.

For you, at least.

Currently Listening Silent Hill 4: The Room O.S.T. Room Of Angel see related

Listen to me.

With one call, it hangs in the balance, on a thin thread, our future. I do love you, I do. Listen to me when I say to stop, I'm calling your name. Don't go, don't do it. Don't tell me he needs your help, he's a grown man. He doesn't need your help. There is nothing you can do with that gun, besides hurt someone, or yourself. Don't do it. I'm hurting, crying silent tears.

"Everything will be okay."

But if it isn't, then what about me? Where do I go, what do I do? Stop, think, listen to me damnit! I am talking, hear me, hear my pleading heart. Lord, give me the strength to stand back and watch, left powerless with a voice that is buried beneath all his other concerns.

Why doesn't he call and ask you to join the good time? Why is it only when his sorry ass is in trouble that he calls? Doesn't he know that he is putting you in danger? Does he even care? I care, don't leave. Listen to me. Think, please just think.

Alone, waiting. Silently praying. Be okay, be safe. Come home and I will be better. I do love you. I can't be without you, not yet. I am not strong enough, not yet. I am not willing to let go, I can't be alone, I am not prepared. I could have done this six months ago, but not right now. Don't start breaking down my barriers, only to leave.

Please Lord, let him be safe. I'll be better, just let him be safe.

Currently Listening We Are Not Alone By Breaking Benjamin Sooner Or Later see related

I need to scream.

Not just, yell. I need to kick, and scream, and cry out my frustration. I am so angry, restless. I used to be happy, I know I did. What happened? I opened my eyes, and took a look around; found my reality was far from happily ever after. He doesn't care, I know this. Not about me.

He says he loves me, but I think he has forgotten what it means. What it feels like. We'vw become a cycle. 360 degrees of nothing, the same thing. Another day, and it's the same day as before. Trapped, running circles.

Like a maze, always looking for the exit to the outside. I can feel the warmth of the sun shining, but I can't see it. I can't escape. Left, right. Up, down. Contained, locked away.

I've buried my heart, to keep it safe